10.05.2024
Dneprovsky Bereg - Лирицс транслатион то енглисх
English
Gray String
Days transformed into a frontier made of suffering,And the calendar sheet has blackened.
One could reduce this down to challenges,
As if this all were life's lesson.
But how many such unrequited lessons
Must I withstand without raising my head?
In my lottery, happy tickets
Weren't. Aren't. And alas, won't be.
I simulated health, joy and love.
I simulated my existence.
Please, buy me some artificial flowers,
Let it be a reminder about fate.
And while drowning in images of my blind heroes,
Who have nothing to lose, in whom there is no will,
I would like to be anyone, just not myself.
Anyone. Just not myself.
But is there sense in trying again?
Again, to wake up and go get slaughtered.
Again, to think about meaning while in agony.
Again, to face the nasty fate.
I'm like a heathen who wants to pray.
I'm like a murderer who wants to love.
Into a bottomless skein of the universe
A thin gray string weaves itself in.
All my life is like a Russian film aimed at the simpleton consumer.
With cheap drama and cheap production.
And sometimes I hear the laugh of an out-of-frame spectator,
Who, of course, is most often wasted.
And even here, I'm not in the leading role. Just some crowd scene.
And even here they won't pay attention.
I ask the inept film director
To crop out my memories, frame by frame.
I tried rewriting myself from scratch,
But again I was tearing out sheets and running out of ink.
I'm so afraid of seeing this dirty world
If I take off my shabby mask.
But I'll forgive everyone again, I'll forget everything again.
I'll knit myself a crucifix from knots.
I was like a dream, like the righteous Judah.
I loved everyone. Without fools.
But is there sense in trying again?
Again, to wake up and go get slaughtered.
Again, to think about meaning while in agony.
Again, to face the nasty fate.
I'm like a heathen who wants to pray.
I'm like a murderer who wants to love.
Into a bottomless skein of the universe
A thin gray string weaves itself in.
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